"Is that Merlion?"
"No, that's my father who is vomiting powerfully."
"No, that's my father who is vomiting powerfully."
12/21/2018
12/19/2018
Waiter, waiter, your thumb is in my soup! #6
Waiter, waiter, your thumb is in my soup!
Lucky you! It says "You win!" You won another soup!
Lucky you! It says "You win!" You won another soup!
12/17/2018
What's so funny? #13
Q: Can you make a sentence using the word "dog" and "gently"?
A: On the one hand my mother is gently patting a dog on the head, on the other hand my father is gently stepping in dog poop behind her.
A: On the one hand my mother is gently patting a dog on the head, on the other hand my father is gently stepping in dog poop behind her.
12/13/2018
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! #6
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Yes sir. In this case, if you have a loyalty card, you can accumulate Fly Points.
Yes sir. In this case, if you have a loyalty card, you can accumulate Fly Points.
12/11/2018
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! #5
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
I'm sorry I made a mistake. You are the type of person who does not eat flies.
I'm sorry I made a mistake. You are the type of person who does not eat flies.
12/07/2018
Waiter, waiter, your thumb is in my soup! #5
"Waiter, waiter, your thumb is in my soup!"
"This is because we serve dishes with a plate without handles. Safety is our first priority."
"If so, why don't you use a plate with handles?"
"This is because we serve dishes with a plate without handles. Safety is our first priority."
"If so, why don't you use a plate with handles?"
12/05/2018
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! #4
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Trust us. We didn't do it. We believe the cause of the fly's death is an accident or a suicide.
Trust us. We didn't do it. We believe the cause of the fly's death is an accident or a suicide.
12/03/2018
Waiter, waiter, your thumb is in my soup! #4
"Waiter, waiter, your thumb is in my soup!"
"Can you see it?"
"Don't say as if your thumb was a fairy!"
"Can you see it?"
"Don't say as if your thumb was a fairy!"
11/30/2018
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! #3
"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!"
"Wingardium Leviosa!" to the fly,
and then,
"Obliviate!" to the customer.
"Wingardium Leviosa!" to the fly,
and then,
"Obliviate!" to the customer.
11/28/2018
Waiter, waiter, your thumb is in my soup! #3
Waiter, waiter, your thumb is in my soup!
Yes sir. Please use the tablet on your table. For your information, if you have troubleshooting questions about thumb, press 1, if you have troubleshooting questions about flies, press 2.
Yes sir. Please use the tablet on your table. For your information, if you have troubleshooting questions about thumb, press 1, if you have troubleshooting questions about flies, press 2.
11/26/2018
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! #2
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Yes sir. No wonder flies are attracted to squash soup.
Yes sir. No wonder flies are attracted to squash soup.
11/23/2018
Waiter, waiter, your thumb is in my soup! #2
Waiter, waiter, your thumb is in my soup!
Yes sir. If you don't like Organic Soup, you could have ordered Organic Soup Without Thumb.
Yes sir. If you don't like Organic Soup, you could have ordered Organic Soup Without Thumb.
11/21/2018
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! #1
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Yes sir, no sir. I think it's a persistent afterimage of a fly.
Yes sir, no sir. I think it's a persistent afterimage of a fly.
11/19/2018
Waiter, waiter, your thumb is in my soup! #1
Waiter, waiter, your thumb is in my soup!
This is not mine. I think it's the thumb of one of the kitchen staff.
This is not mine. I think it's the thumb of one of the kitchen staff.
11/16/2018
One Word Too Many #25
On the bus, octopus.
On the bus, pithecanthropus is sitting.
On the bus, pithecanthropus erectus can't stand erect.
On the bus, pithecanthropus erectus gets carsick easily.
On the bus, pithecanthropus erectus needs a barf bag.
On the bus, pithecanthropus is sitting.
On the bus, pithecanthropus erectus can't stand erect.
On the bus, pithecanthropus erectus gets carsick easily.
On the bus, pithecanthropus erectus needs a barf bag.
11/12/2018
Why did the chicken cross the road? #10
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken didn't know how scary the other side of the road was.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken has already came home. He seems to have had a hard time of it on the other side of the road.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
On the other side of the road, everyone was saying, "Why did the chicken cross the road and come to this side? When will he go home?"
The chicken poor thing.
The chicken didn't know how scary the other side of the road was.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken has already came home. He seems to have had a hard time of it on the other side of the road.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
On the other side of the road, everyone was saying, "Why did the chicken cross the road and come to this side? When will he go home?"
The chicken poor thing.
11/08/2018
What's so funny? #12
"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the dumbest of them all?"
The magic mirror will surely answer as follows, "You are full dumb, it's true. But you got second place."
The magic mirror will surely answer as follows, "You are full dumb, it's true. But you got second place."
11/06/2018
Why did the chicken cross the road? #9
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because there is no cat on the other side of the road. The chicken is allergic to cats, so he couldn't stop sneezing while he was living on this side.
Because there is no cat on the other side of the road. The chicken is allergic to cats, so he couldn't stop sneezing while he was living on this side.
11/04/2018
11/02/2018
Why did the chicken cross the road? #7
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The first step toward a journey of self discovery. The second step is to ask someone the way to the station.
The first step toward a journey of self discovery. The second step is to ask someone the way to the station.
10/31/2018
Why did the chicken cross the road? #6
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Urban chicken that doesn't fly has no choice but to do it.
Urban chicken that doesn't fly has no choice but to do it.
10/29/2018
One Word Too Many #24
Hang loose mongoose.
Hanging out, a flaccid mongoose.
When it's cold,
mongoose becomes hamster.
Hanging out, a flaccid mongoose.
When it's cold,
mongoose becomes hamster.
10/27/2018
What's so funny? #11
About 40 years ago, Takeshi Kitano said,
"I found dog poop on the road the other day. When I got any closer, I could confirm that it's dog poop. When I poked it by index finger, I could reconfirm that it's dog poop. And when I licked it, I could verify that it's dog poop. Phew, good thing I didn't step in dog poop."
"I found dog poop on the road the other day. When I got any closer, I could confirm that it's dog poop. When I poked it by index finger, I could reconfirm that it's dog poop. And when I licked it, I could verify that it's dog poop. Phew, good thing I didn't step in dog poop."
10/25/2018
One Word Too Many #23
Be sweet, parakeet.
"Say hello, parakeet."
"Say hello, parakeet."
"Just say hello."
"Just say hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"You did it!"
"You did it!"
"No!"
"No!"
"Don't copy me."
"Don't copy me."
"What a jackanapes!"
"What a jackanapes!"
"That's enough!"
"That's enough!"
"You look like an idiot!"
"I'm still better than you."
"Say hello, parakeet."
"Say hello, parakeet."
"Just say hello."
"Just say hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"You did it!"
"You did it!"
"No!"
"No!"
"Don't copy me."
"Don't copy me."
"What a jackanapes!"
"What a jackanapes!"
"That's enough!"
"That's enough!"
"You look like an idiot!"
"I'm still better than you."
What a cliche!
(ºϴº)
(ºϴº)
10/23/2018
What's so funny? #10
The melancholy of a dog with a strong sense of responsibility.
"It can't be helped that kids don't follow what I say. But, now that mom and dad are grown-up, they should be obedient to leader."
"It can't be helped that kids don't follow what I say. But, now that mom and dad are grown-up, they should be obedient to leader."
10/21/2018
Knock Knock Jokes #6
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Little red riding hood.
Little red riding hood who?
Your granddaughter little red riding hood. I'm your real granddaughter. Trust me. I'm never a wolf. I don't your granddaughter's impersonation.
What a big mouth you have!
All the better to eat you with, my dear!
All mouth!
Who's there?
Little red riding hood.
Little red riding hood who?
Your granddaughter little red riding hood. I'm your real granddaughter. Trust me. I'm never a wolf. I don't your granddaughter's impersonation.
What a big mouth you have!
All the better to eat you with, my dear!
All mouth!
10/20/2018
One Word Too Many #22
'Till then penguin.
Floating penguin.
Motionless penguin.
Very small penguin.
A penguin that is as small as a swallow on the water.
It is as small as a swallow on the water.
A swallow on the water.
A soul in the sky.
Floating penguin.
Motionless penguin.
Very small penguin.
A penguin that is as small as a swallow on the water.
It is as small as a swallow on the water.
A swallow on the water.
A soul in the sky.
10/18/2018
Why did the chicken cross the road? #5
Why did the chicken cross the road?
"Chicken? Where?"
"The chicken and Shoeless Joe can only be seen by pure-hearted person."
"Chicken? Where?"
"The chicken and Shoeless Joe can only be seen by pure-hearted person."
10/17/2018
Knock Knock Jokes #5
Om nom nom, Om nom nom.
...
Om nom nom, Om nom nom.
?
Om nom nom, Om nom nom.
!! Who's there?
Hungry Hansel and Gretel.
Hungry Hansel and Gretel who?
Fellows of the same tribe call us Hungry Hansel and Gretel.
What do the people who are not the same tribe call you?
People call us hungry termites.
...
Om nom nom, Om nom nom.
?
Om nom nom, Om nom nom.
!! Who's there?
Hungry Hansel and Gretel.
Hungry Hansel and Gretel who?
Fellows of the same tribe call us Hungry Hansel and Gretel.
What do the people who are not the same tribe call you?
People call us hungry termites.
10/16/2018
One Word Too Many #21
Give a hug, ladybug.
Spiky hug, ladybug larvae.
Stinky hug, stink bug.
Jerky motion hug,
it's not a bug,
it's a feature.
Spiky hug, ladybug larvae.
Stinky hug, stink bug.
Jerky motion hug,
it's not a bug,
it's a feature.
10/15/2018
Why did the chicken cross the road? #4
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Pegasus crossed the sky, Poseidon crossed the ocean, and Nicholas II crossed the line with Matilda. But the chicken is not them. Don't expect too much.
Pegasus crossed the sky, Poseidon crossed the ocean, and Nicholas II crossed the line with Matilda. But the chicken is not them. Don't expect too much.
10/14/2018
One Word Too Many #20
See you later, alligator.
Stuffy nose, alligator.
Mouth taped shut, alligator.
Developed dyspnea, alligator.
Let's forget about it, crocodile.
Stuffy nose, alligator.
Mouth taped shut, alligator.
Developed dyspnea, alligator.
Let's forget about it, crocodile.
10/12/2018
What's so funny? #9
I'm struggling to write in english. For example,
A man pointed at me with his index finger that poked poop on the street.
or
A man poked poop on the street with his index finger and pointed at me.
and
I wonder why he thought that I had pooped.
or
I wonder why he perceived the truth.
A man pointed at me with his index finger that poked poop on the street.
or
A man poked poop on the street with his index finger and pointed at me.
and
I wonder why he thought that I had pooped.
or
I wonder why he perceived the truth.
10/11/2018
Knock Knock Jokes #4
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Snow white.
Snow white who?
Snow white who is allergic to apples and can't eat it.
I'll tell the queen so.
Who's there?
Snow white.
Snow white who?
Snow white who is allergic to apples and can't eat it.
I'll tell the queen so.
10/10/2018
One Word Too Many #19
Not too soon, you big baboon.
See you soon, you big baboon, too.
See you soon, you big baboon, too.
Please go easy on wild young couple.
10/09/2018
YAHOO! ANSWERS #2
YAHOO! ANSWERS
I can't pee accurately in a toilet bowl. That is probably because I'm bad with directions. Should I pee sitting down? Is it because I'm a woman? Let me know what you think.
Best Answer: You don't have to get hung up on peeing accurately in a toilet bowl. Take it easy. Let's pee more comfortably.
10/08/2018
Knock Knock Jokes #3
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Daughter.
Daughter who?
Your poor daughter who will enter the stinking bathroom immediately after you leave!
Who's there?
Daughter.
Daughter who?
Your poor daughter who will enter the stinking bathroom immediately after you leave!
10/07/2018
One Word Too Many #18
Time to scoot, warty newt.
Oops sorry, warty newt.
It's too late, squashed newt.
I thought that was foot massage sandals!
Oops sorry, warty newt.
It's too late, squashed newt.
I thought that was foot massage sandals!
10/06/2018
What's so funny? #8
One day a woodman accidentally dropped his axe into a river.
And then, Hermes who appeared from a water showed him a shiny golden axe and asked, "Is this your axe?"
He answered, "No it's not, mine is a common axe...a common dirty worn out axe made of gold.
Hermes said, "Such a liar..."
And then, Hermes who appeared from a water showed him a shiny golden axe and asked, "Is this your axe?"
He answered, "No it's not, mine is a common axe...a common dirty worn out axe made of gold.
Hermes said, "Such a liar..."
10/05/2018
Knock Knock Jokes #2
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
I'm sorry to interrupt.
I'm sorry to interrupt who?
I'm sorry to interrupt your impersonation of Little Red Riding Hood's grandmother, but...
Grrrr.
Who's there?
I'm sorry to interrupt.
I'm sorry to interrupt who?
I'm sorry to interrupt your impersonation of Little Red Riding Hood's grandmother, but...
Grrrr.
10/04/2018
One Word Too Many #17
Can't stay, Blue Jay.
Can't shake hand, Blue Jay.
Can't get high five, Blue Jay.
Doesn't even look yummy, Blue Jay.
Can't shake hand, Blue Jay.
Can't get high five, Blue Jay.
Doesn't even look yummy, Blue Jay.
10/03/2018
YAHOO! ANSWERS #1
YAHOO! ANSWERS
My profession is to give divine punishment mainly to human being. But I am worried because I can't do it well. What should I do?
Best Answer: Practice! Practice! Practice! Give a lot of divine punishment, and become good.
10/02/2018
What's so funny? #7
George Washington bravely said to his father, "I did it!". And he gestured to cut down the tree with karate. His father said, "Such a liar..."
10/01/2018
Knock Knock Jokes #1
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
The patient chicken. Docter, docter, people keep ignoring me.
People are interested in you who got to this side of the road. They are saying, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Who's there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
The patient chicken. Docter, docter, people keep ignoring me.
People are interested in you who got to this side of the road. They are saying, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
9/30/2018
What's so funny? #6
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure." Bruce Willis' daughter Rumer Willis answered.
"Is your father bald even at home?"
"Sure." Bruce Willis' daughter Rumer Willis answered.
"Is your father bald even at home?"
9/29/2018
One Word Too Many #16
Be sweet, parakeet.
Lonely and hungry parakeet.
"MISSING
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS OWNER?"
If no one has seen it,
"HIRING
NEW OWNER"
Lonely and hungry parakeet.
"MISSING
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS OWNER?"
If no one has seen it,
"HIRING
NEW OWNER"
9/28/2018
Why did the chicken cross the road? #3
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Now filming!
Harry Potter and a chicken on the other side of the road
Now filming!
Harry Potter and a chicken on the other side of the road
Why did the chicken cross the road? #2
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I think the chicken probably resembles his father in appearance and in behavior.
I think the chicken probably resembles his father in appearance and in behavior.
9/27/2018
Why did the chicken cross the road? #1
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The golden brown chicken sighed, "I wanted to get here while I was a broiler."
The golden brown chicken sighed, "I wanted to get here while I was a broiler."
9/26/2018
One Word Too Many #15
See you soon, raccoon.
Raccoon, where have you gone?
"MISSING
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS RACCOON?"
Raccoon, where have you gone?
"MISSING
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS RACCOON?"
From the beginning, such a raccoon does not exist.
9/25/2018
9/24/2018
One Word Too Many #14
On the bus, octopus.
Beer at the ballpark,
popcorn at the cinema,
octopus on the bus.
Beer at the ballpark,
popcorn at the cinema,
octopus on the bus.
9/23/2018
What's so funny? #4
Thomas Edison said, "A pig that doesn't fly needs more effort."
A farmer said, "A pig that doesn't fly is easy to keep."
A farmer said, "A pig that doesn't fly is easy to keep."
9/22/2018
One Word Too Many #13
Be sweet, parakeet.
"Say Hello, parakeet."
"Copy That."
"This is not what I expected."
"Say goodbye, pumpkin pie."
"Good-bye"
"Well done, good pumpkin pie!"
"Hey, pumpkin pie can't talk!"
"Oh, parakeet!"
"Say Hello, parakeet."
"Copy That."
"This is not what I expected."
"Say goodbye, pumpkin pie."
"Good-bye"
"Well done, good pumpkin pie!"
"Hey, pumpkin pie can't talk!"
"Oh, parakeet!"
9/21/2018
9/20/2018
9/19/2018
One Word Too Many #11
How now, brown cow.
Bow wow, meown Aaow!
Bow wow, meown Aaow!
King of Aaow appears in his daughter's selfie...
9/18/2018
One Word Too Many #10
In a blizzard, little lizard.
A blizzard of tail-less lizard.
A blizzard of tail-less lizard.
It's probably due to frostbite.
9/17/2018
9/16/2018
One Word Too Many #9
Out the door, dinosaur.
"GRRR!"
Caught its finger in the door, dinosaur.
"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"
Run away from a cockroach, dinosaur.
"GRRR!"
Caught its finger in the door, dinosaur.
"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"
Run away from a cockroach, dinosaur.
9/15/2018
One Word Too Many #8
To your house, quiet mouse.
In your mouth, debilitated mouse.
"Would you like antibiotics with that?"
In your mouth, debilitated mouse.
"Would you like antibiotics with that?"
9/14/2018
What's so funny? #1
"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dustbin."
"Don't worry. You are the most pretty dustbin in the U.S.A."
"Don't worry. You are the most pretty dustbin in the U.S.A."
9/13/2018
9/12/2018
One Word Too Many #6
In a while, crocodile.
Walk down the aisle, crocodile.
Walk down a dirt road, alligator.
Walk down the aisle, crocodile.
Walk down a dirt road, alligator.
9/10/2018
9/07/2018
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