10/31/2018

10/29/2018

One Word Too Many #24

Hang loose mongoose.
Hanging out, a flaccid mongoose.
When it's cold,
mongoose becomes hamster.

10/27/2018

What's so funny? #11

About 40 years ago, Takeshi Kitano said,

"I found dog poop on the road the other day. When I got any closer, I could confirm that it's dog poop. When I poked it by index finger, I could reconfirm that it's dog poop. And when I licked it, I could verify that it's dog poop. Phew, good thing I didn't step in dog poop."

10/25/2018

One Word Too Many #23

Be sweet, parakeet.
"Say hello, parakeet."
"Say hello, parakeet."
"Just say hello."
"Just say hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"You did it!"
"You did it!"
"No!"
"No!"
"Don't copy me."
"Don't copy me."
"What a jackanapes!"
"What a jackanapes!"
"That's enough!"
"That's enough!"
"You look like an idiot!"
"I'm still better than you."
What a cliche!

(ºϴº)

10/23/2018

What's so funny? #10

The melancholy of a dog with a strong sense of responsibility.
"It can't be helped that kids don't follow what I say. But, now that mom and dad are grown-up, they should be obedient to leader."

10/21/2018

Knock Knock Jokes #6

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Little red riding hood.

Little red riding hood who?

Your granddaughter little red riding hood. I'm your real granddaughter. Trust me. I'm never a wolf. I don't your granddaughter's impersonation.

What a big mouth you have!

All the better to eat you with, my dear!

All mouth!

10/20/2018

One Word Too Many #22

'Till then penguin.
Floating penguin.
Motionless penguin.
Very small penguin.
A penguin that is as small as a swallow on the water.
It is as small as a swallow on the water.
A swallow on the water.
A soul in the sky.

10/18/2018

Why did the chicken cross the road? #5

Why did the chicken cross the road?

"Chicken? Where?"

"The chicken and Shoeless Joe can only be seen by pure-hearted person."

10/17/2018

Knock Knock Jokes #5

Om nom nom, Om nom nom.

...

Om nom nom, Om nom nom.

?

Om nom nom, Om nom nom.

!! Who's there?

Hungry Hansel and Gretel.

Hungry Hansel and Gretel who?

Fellows of the same tribe call us Hungry Hansel and Gretel.

What do the people who are not the same tribe call you?

People call us hungry termites.

10/16/2018

One Word Too Many #21

Give a hug, ladybug.
Spiky hug, ladybug larvae.
Stinky hug, stink bug.
Jerky motion hug,
it's not a bug,
it's a feature.

10/15/2018

Why did the chicken cross the road? #4

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Pegasus crossed the sky, Poseidon crossed the ocean, and Nicholas II crossed the line with Matilda. But the chicken is not them. Don't expect too much.

10/14/2018

One Word Too Many #20

See you later, alligator.
Stuffy nose, alligator.
Mouth taped shut, alligator.
Developed dyspnea, alligator.
Let's forget about it, crocodile.

10/12/2018

What's so funny? #9

I'm struggling to write in english. For example,

A man pointed at me with his index finger that poked poop on the street.
or
A man poked poop on the street with his index finger and pointed at me.

and

I wonder why he thought that I had pooped.
or
I wonder why he perceived the truth.

10/11/2018

Knock Knock Jokes #4

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Snow white.

Snow white who?

Snow white who is allergic to apples and can't eat it.

I'll tell the queen so.

10/10/2018

One Word Too Many #19

Not too soon, you big baboon.
See you soon, you big baboon, too.
Please go easy on wild young couple.

10/09/2018

YAHOO! ANSWERS #2

YAHOO! ANSWERS

I can't pee accurately in a toilet bowl. That is probably because I'm bad with directions. Should I pee sitting down? Is it because I'm a woman? Let me know what you think.

Best Answer: You don't have to get hung up on peeing accurately in a toilet bowl. Take it easy. Let's pee more comfortably.

10/08/2018

Knock Knock Jokes #3

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Daughter.

Daughter who?

Your poor daughter who will enter the stinking bathroom immediately after you leave!

10/07/2018

One Word Too Many #18

Time to scoot, warty newt.
Oops sorry, warty newt.
It's too late, squashed newt.
I thought that was foot massage sandals!

10/06/2018

What's so funny? #8

One day a woodman accidentally dropped his axe into a river.
And then, Hermes who appeared from a water showed him a shiny golden axe and asked, "Is this your axe?"
He answered, "No it's not, mine is a common axe...a common dirty worn out axe made of gold.
Hermes said, "Such a liar..."

10/05/2018

Knock Knock Jokes #2

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

I'm sorry to interrupt.

I'm sorry to interrupt who?

I'm sorry to interrupt your impersonation of Little Red Riding Hood's grandmother, but...

Grrrr.

10/04/2018

One Word Too Many #17

Can't stay, Blue Jay.
Can't shake hand, Blue Jay.
Can't get high five, Blue Jay.
Doesn't even look yummy, Blue Jay.

10/03/2018

YAHOO! ANSWERS #1

YAHOO! ANSWERS

My profession is to give divine punishment mainly to human being. But I am worried because I can't do it well. What should I do?

Best Answer: Practice! Practice! Practice! Give a lot of divine punishment, and become good.

10/02/2018

What's so funny? #7

George Washington bravely said to his father, "I did it!". And he gestured to cut down the tree with karate. His father said, "Such a liar..."

10/01/2018

Knock Knock Jokes #1

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

The chicken.

The chicken who?

The patient chicken. Docter, docter, people keep ignoring me.

People are interested in you who got to this side of the road. They are saying, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"